Whether you’re a coach, parent, athletic trainer, teammate or friend, knowing how you can help a sidelined athlete makes a huge difference in their healing process. Check out these quick tips to better support the sidelined athlete in your life.
Read MoreInsightful articles for helping permanently-sidelined athletes find a meaningful way forward.
As a former sidelined athlete I can tell you that guilt and shame were very specific feelings I experienced when I medically-retired. At the time, I really didn’t feel like I had the right to grieve and I was ashamed of how depressed I had become. I didn’t realize that it was normal - more importantly - that it was OKAY to be mourning the end of my athletic career. Changing the narrative starts with understanding where the guilt and shame behind medical retirement comes from.
An athlete’s natural mindset in performing is to overcome and defeat opponents. To win. But what happens when you can’t even compete?
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“You’re only as good as your last game . . . match . . . race.” Sound familiar?
As a competitor, it is common to tie your athletic identity to your performance in your sport. What can happen though it you aren’t careful is that your performance can become the key indicator of how you measure your worth and subsequently, can greatly impact how happy you are overall in life.
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Someone in your life has recently been told that he or she has to give up competing in their sport. They’ve had one too many ACL tears. One too many concussions. A severe neck injury. Or maybe they’ve been diagnosed with a heart condition that is too risky to continue competing. Whatever the case may be, someone you care about has just received devastating news. Their whole world has been upended and chances are they are experiencing a host of emotions ranging from denial to rage. It’s a situation you may not feel prepared for. It’s tough to know exactly how to respond.
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As a child, you never expect your biggest dreams to come to an end so suddenly. As an athlete, you hope that you’re able to control your own destiny. Unfortunately, the reality is that for many of us, these hopes and expectations take a U-turn when we’re least expecting it, and force our hand in life a bit earlier than we had planned for.
Grasping the reality of an early end to your athletic career is certainly a tough pill to swallow.
For some it may be all they have ever known and loved.
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Sports do indeed offer valuable life experiences. We learn incredible skills such as persistence, work ethic, and how to set and work towards goals. We push our limits and learn about our own physical and mental strength. We learn how to sacrifice and discipline ourselves as we work through challenges. Ultimately, we experience a deep sense of passion and purpose as we try to attain our highest potential in sport.
Unfortunately, we also realize that in order to succeed in such a competitive world, we need to protect ourselves. So, we start to grow thick skin and a type of protective outer armor.
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Whether you are a friend, family member, teammate, athletic trainer, or coach of an athlete who has recently been permanently sidelined, the grief of the sidelined athlete can weigh heavy on you as well. You want to help but it can be tough to know what to say or how to ease the pain of the athlete who has experienced such a devastating loss. Following these research-based guidelines, you can support the permanently sidelined athlete in navigating a healthy adjustment to his or her new reality and have a positive impact in the athlete’s emotional recovery.
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The room is so very bland. That icky not-quite-beige, not-quite-white color. My heart is racing. Tiny beads of sweat are starting to form on my forehead. I can’t sit still, my legs bouncing in nervous anticipation. The doctor walks in, his face as bland as the walls. I try to make a read on what’s coming next, but can’t. File folder in hand, he sits down.
“Well, it is not good news. Your MRI shows a full thickness tear in your meniscus. I think we can fix it, but it would be my recommendation that you never skate again.”
Wait, what?! What did he just say?
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When we witness the likes of LeBron James compete at highest level of play, when we watch in awe at the power behind one of Serena Williams’ serves, or when we behold the command of Clayton Kershaw’s fastball: what factors do we immediately contribute their success to?
As fans (or haters) we can speculate advantages or debate statistics, but few would dare to argue that these dominating athletes have not worked tirelessly to achieve success. What is less often considered, is the work these athletes have done within the confines of their own mind. As anyone who has competed in any arena can attest to; change, improvement, and success take hard work. If we were able to work as hard on our minds as we do in our work, sports, and relationships, we would see big change in many facets of life.
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I’d like to acknowledge that we’re in the middle of a pandemic and many of us are struggling to find anything to be happy about. So while celebration might be the last thing you’d want to consider right now, I’d like to encourage you to lean in and give this resource a try. Celebration is one of the fastest tools to shift your mindset and powerfully take on whatever you have in front of you.
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